Caldera Chronicles
Woke up late today. By “late” I mean 7 AM because apparently Greece has turned me into one of those terrifying morning people. I hit the shower, opened the curtains, & took one last look at our hotel view. Everyone say byeeeeee Grand Villa!
We grabbed breakfast downstairs & brought it back to the balcony so we could properly say goodbye to the caldera. Nothing says “vacation” like silently staring at a volcano while aggressively eating hotel eggs. Then we got picked up by our new bestie Chryssi, who has lived in Santorini for 35 years & knows approximately everything. She studied tourism in Athens but said the city life wasn’t for her because of the traffic which honestly? Valid. Is traffic for anyone?
Here are the important things we learned today:
Megalochori (where we’ve been staying) used to basically be wine central. Very rich wine history. We accidentally booked ourselves into Napa Valley but Greek.
Santorini grapes are grown super low to the ground because of the wind. I thought vineyards would look romantic & cinematic but actually they look like someone’s aunt planted vegetables in her backyard or my mom’s dream garden.
Santorini doesn’t really produce olives. Crete is the olive oil queen around here. Santorini basically said “we’ll outsource it.”
Almost EVERYTHING on the island gets imported daily by boat. Which explains why restaurants randomly run out of food. Greece basically is into intermittent fasting.
Some vineyards have white painted rocks in them. This means don’t use those grape leaves for dolmades because pesticides were sprayed there. Imagine being taken out by a leaf. Terrifying.
There are 22,000 locals here but summer population is FIVE TIMES THAT. Which honestly explains the tiny roads & the chaos we see on TikTok.
There are over 400 churches on the island which feels dramatic considering there are only 22,000 locals. That’s like one church per family.
Santorini used to be one giant circular island before a volcanic eruption split it apart. So basically the volcano said “what if we made this geography more aesthetic?”
There are actually TWO volcanoes here. The second one, Koloumbo, gets no attention because it’s underwater. Justice for Koloumbo honestly. She deserves hype too.
Our first stop was Firostefani to see the famous Three Bells Church. It was gorgeous. Also very validating because sometimes famous landmarks are disappointing in person but this one actually delivered. We love when tourism works out.
Then we headed to Oia (still pronounced ee-ah for anyone who skipped previous lessons). Since we’re staying there later, we kept things light, but there were some major highlights:
Gelato. Specifically Lolita’s. Specifically the banana caramel flavor. I genuinely think I blacked out for a second. Kayak Gelato has officially been demoted to second place. Tough scene for them.
The blue domes churches. They’re somehow prettier in person which is annoying because now I have to admit TikTok was right.
There’s a castle on the hill. We didn’t go yet because we believe in pacing ourselves.
After that we headed to our wine tasting at Koutsouyianopoulos Winery. Please do not ask me to pronounce it. I physically cannot. I barely survived calimera.
Back in the day every house here had its own wine press which honestly feels very “farm to table.” Our guide Irini led the tasting & I personally was very excited to drink water out of fancy wine glasses while pretending I understood.
Wine #1: Assyrtiko
Very citrusy, lemon, grapefruit, green apple vibes. Apparently the volcanic soil affects the taste which feels fake but science says it’s real.
Wine #2: Orange wine
Important clarification: not orange flavored. Just orange colored because they keep the grape skins in longer. I feel like they should explain this immediately because otherwise it sounds deeply concerning.
Wine #3: Red wine.
Santorini isn’t known for reds & honestly they know it too. Humble island.
Wine #4:
Dessert wine called Kamaritis, aged underground for 10 years using sun-dried grapes. Very dramatic. Very delicious. Felt like drinking medieval treasure.
THEN they gave us a Greek spirit that’s 38% alcohol & used to be medicinal. That thing did not cleanse my palate. It cleansed my soul. My ancestors felt that one. After the winery we visited the black beach & red beach which we had previously seen from the water. Very cool. Very volcanic. Very “the earth is alive & angry.”
Then it was finally time to head to Oia for our last few days.
Now. Important context. Oia is basically built vertically into the side of a cliff because apparently Greeks hate flat surfaces. So when we arrived, we met our luggage couriers. Yes. COURIERS. These men carried giant suitcases over their heads while speed walking through tiny winding staircases like Olympic athletes. Meanwhile I was struggling to carry MYSELF.
We finally arrived at our hotel & they handed us sparkling lemon juice while we stared in disbelief at the view. & honestly? the room fully lived up to the hype. We are staying in a cave. An actual cave.
Which apparently now comes with:
a private hot tub
domed cave ceilings
a lava shower
a private caldera view that genuinely made me stop speaking
Like I’m sorry?? Anyway after settling in, we decided to walk to dinner at Ammoudi Fish Tavern because multiple people highly recommended it. What those people FAILED to mention is that you do not need to walk there. There are cabs.
Instead, we walked down approximately 278 stairs in sandals while clinging to walls for survival. I have never trusted my balance less. Evan wore sandals in solidarity which was beautiful because we both almost died equally. But honestly? Worth it.
Best meal of the trip by FAR. Evan entered his squid / octopus / fish era. I had chicken because sometimes personal growth means not forcing yourself to become a seafood person overnight. The service was incredible. The food was incredible. The vibes were incredible. Then we got loukoumades for dessert which are basically Greek donuts sent directly from heaven.
Thankfully the restaurant called us a cab back because otherwise this blog would’ve ended with “Maya fell down 300 stairs.”
We finished the night at the Oia Castle for sunset & wow.
I get it now. Like I fully get the hype. The sky looked fake. The colors were insane. The white buildings glowing against the cliffs? Unreal. Easily one of the prettiest sunsets I’ve ever seen. Also there were approximately fourteen billion people there & this is OFF season. I cannot even begin to imagine July.
Anyway. Goodnight from our cave. See you tomorrow!