The Fast and The Curious: Santorini Drift
It’s our last full day in Santorini which felt deeply offensive considering we still had approximately 73% of the island left to emotionally attach ourselves to. We had made absolutely no plans for the day which, honestly, is usually when things get either really fun or mildly catastrophic.
I woke up at 5 AM because duh.
I walked through Oia while the town was still quiet, watched the sunrise over the castle ruins, & wandered around for a few hours pretending I was in a very aesthetic sunscreen commercial, sneaking onto hotel properties for better views, & listening to tour guides give out fun facts. Fact #1: the castle ruins in Oia aren’t actually a castle. They’re the remains of a Venetian fortress that was originally built to protect Santorini from pirates. Which honestly tracks because this island feels like somewhere pirates would absolutely retire.
Eventually I made my way back to the hotel for breakfast at 8 AM where I reunited with Evan, who was peacefully sitting on the patio taking in the view & probably also Twittering.
After breakfast I went to reception to coordinate tomorrow’s departure because at some point you unfortunately do have to acknowledge reality. We arranged a cab, couriers, all the boring logistics, & then decided to head back out to explore.
We walked through the parts of Oia we hadn’t seen yet which was lovely until I dropped my phone & somehow managed to launch a shard of glass directly into my finger. Santorini wanted a blood sacrifice apparently. Naturally after that we got gelato because that felt medically necessary.
Then came the great debate: Should we do the famous Oia-to-Fira hike?
In theory? Yes.
In practice? It’s like six hours long with almost no shade & the sun here is trying to personally kill me.
So instead we decided to continue exploring the island the way god intended: in a tiny red buggy ATV thing.
Some FAQs:
What color was it? RED ❤️
Was it fast? No. This thing maxed out around 80 km/h but emotionally it felt like 140.
Was it loud? Violently.
Was it windy? My hair has entered a new tax bracket.
How did it compare to our previous vehicle adventures? Well our last one was a boat, so this one was significantly less floaty. But compared to our previous rental car, this steering wheel actually respected boundaries. The last wheel would just keep turning forever like it had dreams of becoming a dreidel.
I decided we should drive all the way down to the Akrotiri Lighthouse on the opposite side of the island because we had seen it from the water earlier in the week & I wanted the full cinematic experience.
The drive took about 45 minutes because Santorini roads are basically:
curve → curve → cliff → curve → donkey → curve
The lighthouse itself was honestly a little underwhelming because you can’t really go inside it, but the views over the caldera were gorgeous. On the way back we stopped at a little roadside gyro stand called TAMYS by Red Beach. Now this is important because Evan has wanted gyros since approximately minute three of arriving in Greece. Technically he had already eaten half of one earlier this week, but according to him our hotel gyro “didn’t count.”
This place had chicken gyro too so I could participate in the experience. Evan got a full platter while I got a pita because I still needed to emotionally process the finger incident. Thoughts? Listen. Gyros are shawarma’s cousins. They simply are. Same family reunion. Same vibes.
Was it life changing? No.
Was it good? Sure.
Will I continue documenting every single meal anyways? Obviously.
While we were eating, a cat aggressively attempted to rob us for food. These Santorini cats are fearless. They know tourists are weak.
Also I need to discuss the geography here because NOTHING makes sense. How do you drive along the west side of the island & somehow end up south?
Why does the sun set in what LOOKS like the north?
Before any geography majors email me: yes I know the sun sets in the west. But visually it makes absolutely no sense here because the island curves around the caldera like a giant croissant. Apparently by the end of summer the sunset shifts more westward but personally I think Santorini just enjoys gaslighting visitors.
Another important cultural note: you generally do not flush toilet paper here. You throw it in a trash can beside the toilet because the island’s plumbing system is old & the pipes clog easily. So to my parents: the basement bathroom isn’t broken. It’s simply Greek. But I would still recommend having it fixed.
ANYWAYS, we continued driving through Fira & Firostefani, weaving around cliffside roads while I fully transformed into a Mediterranean Mario Kart character. Parking eventually became impossible so we decided to return to our favorite place on the island:
Ammoudi Bay.
Fun fact: scenes from The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants were filmed there which honestly explains why the entire bay feels like a Pinterest board from 2012.
Now HERE is the truly devastating discovery: there is a man driving a golf cart shuttle up & down the area near the giant staircase. YOU MEAN TO TELL ME WE NEVER HAD TO WALK THOSE STAIRS??? Research matters, people. Since we were already there, we decided to eat at Sunset Ammoudi which is basically the OG restaurant of the bay. They were the first restaurant there over 40 years ago. The blueprint. The trendsetters. The mother restaurant.
I was starving & also surrounded exclusively by seafood menus so I ordered: bread, olive oil, Greek yogurt, & ice cream. Please respect my journey.
The service was genuinely amazing though. Everyone was incredibly friendly & the views were stunning. Differences between this restaurant & the other bay restaurant we liked:
better views
no tableside drink pouring performance art
louder waiters
live fish tanks instead of dead fish displays
still wildly expensive
After eating we walked toward some giant boulders leading to another beach area until we saw a sign that basically said CROSS AT YOUR OWN RISK. Considering my recent relationship with flying shards of glass, we decided maybe today was not the day to be crushed by volcanic rock. So we returned to our golf cart hero, got back to the buggy, returned it, chilled at the hotel for a bit, & then headed back out one final time to watch sunset.
Again: the sunset appeared to happen in the NORTH. I reject the maps. I reject the science. Unless it agrees that the sun sets in the North here, in which case please explain why.
Everything was peaceful until suddenly people started screaming nearby & I looked over to see a man in a green shirt fully smashing another guy into a wall. We still don’t know what happened but current theories include:
they were fighting over sunset space
someone stole a phone
one guy was blackout drunk
they were creating a distraction to secure a better sunset viewing spot
Please submit your votes at this time.
Then, as if nothing happened, the sun set, everyone clapped, & we all collectively returned to pretending we were spiritually transformed by the experience.
For dinner we went to Alexios, the restaurant right above our hotel. Like so close I could connect to our room’s wifi. I got burrata YAY & chicken. Evan got oysters & cheese risotto which I thought automatically made the risotto seafood-adjacent but apparently not. Then we got desserts that we couldn’t finish & knew we wouldn’t.
Honestly? Pretty nice final full day on the island. Minimal injuries. Maximum confusion. Strong sunset performance overall.
As I sit here typing this, Evan is currently using AI to troubleshoot why our hot tub won’t bubble which feels like an incredibly fitting ending to this trip. Not sure if we found inner peace in Santorini, but we did apparently become the kind of people who spend their final night in Greece arguing with a jacuzzi while eating gelato, so that has to count for something.
We’ll see you tomorrow for our second-to-last blog 🫡 & yes, we will absolutely be documenting our journey home like two emotionally exhausted marathon runners crossing the finish line after aggressively speedwalking through multiple airports, terminals, & transportation systems we only half understood.