Staircases, Scaffolding, and Souvlaki
Today was an Athens day. Yes, we’re back. No, we do not care that we technically do not need to be. Sometimes you just need another round with a city before deciding if you vibe with it or if it’s giving “we should just be friends.” & FYI Cammy The Camera did NOT join me all day today, so you get the iPhone pics exclusively #sorrynotsorry
We started the morning at the Acropolis because apparently when in Athens you are legally obligated to climb at least one ancient hill before noon. We explored around, took approximately 400 photos of the same columns from slightly different angles, & then headed into the Acropolis Museum where I was able to connect to “Acropolis WiFi” which honestly felt deeply offensive to the ancient Greeks somehow. Imagine building one of the most historically significant sites in the world just for someone named Maya to stand there checking Instagram stories.
Things I learned today:
Romans were OBSESSED with stairs
The Acropolis is way bigger in person
In one of the centuries all the statues randomly started smiling for no reason. Maybe the 6th century? Maybe the 16th? I truly was not locked in
Athens has height restrictions so you can always see the Acropolis which honestly is kind of iconic branding. Chicago has the Bean. Athens has a giant ancient marble temple staring at you from literally every angle.
Greek mythology is basically just gossip with consequences
We did a group tour & part of our group was like 15 coworkers traveling together for a company trip. Need that job immediately. Imagine your manager being like “pack your bags gang we’re going to Greece.” Meanwhile my work trips usually involve folding tablecloths & figuring out why a Canva export is blurry.
Speaking of international crimes though, can we discuss the British Museum situation? Why are we still proudly displaying stolen property in 2026? The Parthenon Marbles belong HERE. Like sorry if that’s controversial but if someone took the Bean from Chicago we would all lose our minds. Greece has been asking for them back forever & Britain keeps being like “hmmm no ❤️.”
Okay but honest review: The Parthenon in Nashville is lowkey more put together right now. This one is covered in scaffolding, construction, cranes, & approximately 7 million tourists holding iPads above their heads. Like yes, obviously, it’s one of the most historically important structures in the world. I KNOW that. But aesthetically? She’s in her renovation era.
Every single photo required either strategic angles, aggressive cropping, or me waiting for someone to move out of frame like I was directing traffic. At one point I genuinely considered asking everyone to clear the area for “content purposes.”
That being said, it really is beautiful up there & I loved the view of the mountains across the way. Seriously though. The scale of it all, the views over Athens, the fact that people built this without modern technology? Wild. You can feel the history even through the scaffolding of it all. So while part of me was very “don’t meet your heroes,” another part of me was standing there like wow . . . humans really said “let’s build a giant marble temple on top of a mountain” & somehow pulled it off.
Now the museum. The museum itself was fine. I’m just not a museum girl. I can appreciate them intellectually while emotionally wanting a snack & somewhere to sit. We walked through all three floors before getting to the top floor recreation of the Parthenon where they have all the original stone carvings displayed. Or at least the ones that haven’t been aggressively borrowed by England. Also Greek mythology recap according to me:
Athena = queen
Poseidon = dramatic sea merman
Everyone = weirdly invested in olive trees
Apparently Athens was named after Athena because she beat Poseidon in what was essentially the world’s first reality competition show. She gifted the city an olive tree while Poseidon offered salt water which honestly was not his best pitch. Read the room, king. Food, oil, peace, skincare, apparently everything revolves around olives here. Athena won, Poseidon took it personally, & now we have Athens.
You can connect any two things you ever want to. Our tour guide also somehow connected ancient Greece to Gandalf, Elton John, & Indiana Jones within like 7 minutes which honestly deserves an award.
After that we walked to lunch at a recommendation from Elena, our new friend from Zakynthos who was genuinely one of the nicest people we’ve met this trip. We went to a restaurant she used to work at & honestly she did not steer us wrong. I got chicken souvlaki skewers which were yum. Simple. Reliable. No notes.
We were exhausted at this point so we went back to the hotel for a quick reset before beginning what I am calling the Maya Food Tour™ because I refused to pay €200 for an organized one when I have Google Maps, TikTok, & confidence.
First stop 📍 Meat The Greek
They were out of gyros which felt personally targeted because that was literally why we went there. So instead we got chicken souvlaki wraps. BIG points for using dark meat chicken because everywhere else has been aggressively committed to dry chicken breast. Evan’s had some mustard mayo situation happening. Mine just had fries because I know who I am as a person. Overall rating? 6.8/10.
HOWEVER. Possibly the cleanest public bathroom I have ever encountered in Europe. Maybe ever? There were hand painted bathroom signs. No puddles. No mystery liquids. No emotional trauma. Incredible work from them honestly.
After that we realized we physically could not continue eating at the pace we had planned, so naturally we pivoted directly into smoothies at TAMARA because if you know, you know. When I lived in Tel Aviv there was a Tamara near my apartment & I went constantly. Smoothies. Juices. Açai bowls. Truly one of my greatest loves.
I got the pom-orange juice because I physically cannot order anything else there. It would feel disrespectful. Then, despite already being full enough to legally hibernate, we decided to try Greek McDonald’s because sometimes journalism requires sacrifice. Underwhelming. Ronald McDonald you will never be Greek.
At this point we realized we desperately needed movement before turning into actual gyros ourselves, so we decided to climb to Lycabettus Hill for sunset. By “climb” I mean partially climb until my Apple Watch started acting concerned for my wellbeing. We eventually got to the funicular which, despite sounding whimsical, was NOT fun. False advertising honestly.
Important thing nobody told us:
There are TWO funicular cars. One comes directly toward you through the tunnel before splitting off. So for a solid minute I genuinely thought we were about to have an ancient Greek transportation disaster underground. Also why is the whole ride in a dark tunnel? Switzerland would never. Their funiculars have views. Romance. Sparkle. This felt like being transported through the mines of Moria.
Then when the car slows down at the top & jerks backward slightly? Absolutely not. I saw my entire life flash before my eyes including every time I ignored a “wet floor” sign.
We made it to the top around sunset & honestly? It was… whelming. Not underwhelming. Not overwhelming. Just whelming. The view was beautiful but there were SO many people. Everyone pushing for photos, phones in the air, couples aggressively making out against the sunset. I wanted approximately four minutes up there before deciding I had seen enough. So now the plan is to come back one morning at like 5 am for sunrise because apparently the only thing I dislike more than hiking is crowds.
Also random health reflection because I feel like this matters:
My average blood sugar on this trip has been around 114 which is honestly insane for me in the best way. Especially considering the amount of gelato involved. Before starting this health journey my averages were in the 150s & even though social media makes everything look effortless, it’s not. I work really hard every single day to find balance & take care of myself while still living my life fully. So I’m actually really proud of that.
ANYWAYS. Final chapter of the night:
We walked back down from the mountain & ended up in Monastiraki listening to a street musician while eating gelato from our beloved Kayak because apparently we needed more dessert after spending the entire day consuming Athens. The musician is still playing as I write this. How do I know? Because we can hear him from our hotel room. We are BLOCKS away. This man’s speakers are so powerful I genuinely think all of Athens is currently attending this concert whether they consented to it or not.
When we got back I filled up the hot tub, took a quick soak, & now it’s shower & bed because tomorrow is an 18 hour day & I am mentally preparing by not thinking about it at all. We have to be at the train by 7:30 am for our next destination 👀 Any guesses where we’re headed next?