Breaking News: Americans Located in Zakynthos

Hello from Day 3! The future is looking bright for us all based on the sunlight in Zakynthos. But we aren’t there yet. Let’s talk yesterday (for me. today for you still.)

Day 2 in Greece began at the deeply disrespectful hour of 2:45 am. We had a 6 am flight, so naturally we woke up in the middle of the night to shower, repack, question our choices, & drag ourselves to the airport.

Because we are food critics, we spent our extra hour before boarding conducting an extremely serious taste test between the two airport cafes: Bistrot & EatGreek. Both lines were so long you’d think somebody dropped a new NeeDoh collection instead of croissants. But after extensive research:

Bistrot absolutely demolished the competition.

The Greek yogurt? Better. The croissant? Better. The orange juice though? Genuinely one of the worst beverages I’ve ever consumed. Nasty. Offensive. I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemy. Evan agreed (maybe not to that extent, but still).

On to Zakynthos (or Zante if you’re cool)

The flight to Zakynthos was S T U N N I N G. Like. wow. We could see tiny islands everywhere, the bluest water imaginable, Mount Parnassus, Mount Giona, & so many more genuinely unreal views for a casual little 30 minute flight.

Which now has me aggressively rerouting my trip because WHY did TikTok not tell me about these places??? I have seen approximately 900 videos about Santorini windmills but ZERO about these insane mountains. Feels like misinformation honestly.

We were also seated in Row 1 which made us feel deeply important for approximately 31 minutes. Not first class. Relax. The plane itself was basically a flying shuttle bus. But psychologically? VIP behavior. Iconic honestly.

Anyway, we landed in Zakynthos & immediately got confused because apparently there is “the hotel” & then “the suites” & somehow they are entirely different places with entirely different spas. European resort logistics continue to humble me.

I accidentally fell asleep by the pool for a while which honestly healed me spiritually. Then we went to check into our spa appointments only to discover something got messed up, so instead of massages we suddenly had 3-5 bonus free hours in the middle of the day. Not exactly devastating news.

Fun fact: this island is apparently only about an hour long top to bottom. Which means theoretically we could drive the whole thing in a day. Personally, I think this is the perfect reason to rent an ATV. Evan disagrees. If anyone has compelling arguments for why two Americans should dangerously zip around a Greek island on a tiny motor vehicle, please send them immediately.

Since literally everything was closed, we wandered to the beach & found a spot called Freddie’s which we THINK may have been named after a dog (there was a dog on the sign, so using our context clue it made sense). Strong start with olive hummus & this crispy pita. Then I got chicken souvlaki because when in Greece™ & Evan got fish & chips (they looked gross so they are not pictured below) because apparently when in England™.

We sat watching the Ionian Sea while it was weirdly overcast & chilly, but honestly? Still beautiful. Our waitress informed us we were 2 of maybe 6 Americans she’s ever seen there, which feels dramatic but also believable. Then when we asked what we should do on the island she basically said “nothing” & recommended we leave the island entirely to visit the Mani Peninsula. So now I understand why tourism here is a little slow.

BUT
I AM HERE FOR THE GATORADE BLUE WATER.
I AM HERE FOR THE CAVES.
I AM HERE FOR THE TURTLES.

Speaking of turtles, tomorrow morning we’re doing an island boat tour where we may or may not see exactly ONE turtle. Emphasis on may not. Even the tour company seemed unconvinced. Also sometime during lunch I realized Evan had not worn a single hat all day which honestly felt disorienting. If you know him you understand.

The rest of the day turned into full spa mode. Massages, sauna, relaxation rooms, & then an aggressively freezing private pool situation during a thunderstorm. Honestly kind of cinematic. Dinner at the hotel ended up being a buffet which normally would concern me but it was actually really solid. They literally had “TikTok Pasta” labeled as TikTok Pasta which made me laugh. Feta baked pasta really changed global cuisine forever huh. We also met a girl from Canada named Kiernan who confirmed we are apparently still the only North Americans here, but plot twist: she’s flying back to Athens with us later this week so now we have a plane buddy.

Sadly there was no gelato tonight. Devastating development for the nation.

Currently charging:

• My drone

• My camera batteries

• Unfortunately not myself because we have to wake up in six hours for turtle hunting

Wish us luck. Here are some hotel pics so you can live through our experience.

Okay now the stats because apparently this is a thing now:

• Total gelatos consumed: 3

• Actual Greek meals: 2

• Greek words learned: 3

  • Kalimera = good morning

  • Yassas = hello! (YAAAAAS is not acceptable as a replacement btw)

  • Sas efcharistó = thank you & somehow I pronounced it correctly according to our driver

• Sunburns: 0. SPF remains undefeated.

See you tomorrow! Or today. You never know.